Recent controversy arising out of
the intent, mode and language used by the participants of the AIB Roast has
compelled me to think about my own rather our own darker side. One which is so
conscious rather obsessed with the self and which is not ready to listen to any
kind of criticism. The society, in which we are living and have grown up, is and
has been far more tolerant to so-called filthy language and the swear words and
nobody takes any offence and accepts as the way of life. But over the years the
so-called concepts of decency and new mode of social behaviour, stiff upper lip
British way of conduct has sucked openness and tolerance from our day to day
life and on every single occasion we become so defensive to any kind of
criticism.
Our society has paid a heavy
price for such a rigid attitude towards criticism, where invariably any
criticism of any kind is considered to be an attack on individual or on the
system or on the society itself and which need to be repelled immediately and
it is thought that the culprit is needed to be punished and banished rather
than enjoying and laughing at the criticism. We have forgotten to laugh at
ourselves and at least on this count we are very similar to our stone age
ancestors or the societies thereafter when we always intend to settle score
immediately, the instant justice. History is replete with stories of blood being
spilled on trivial issues and starting point for such violence was one or other
way of criticism. It takes heart to understand that there is no difference
between healthy and filthy criticism and all kinds of criticism has to be
enjoyed and to be tolerated and there is hardly any need to be offensive or
defensive. Committing mistakes and accepting it is the sign of a healthy
society and above all failure is not an indignity in any healthy society about
which we become so sensitive.
One afternoon, during our lunch
break discussion, irritated on some issue with one of my mates, I launched some
verbal attack on him but simultaneously it was categorised by another mate as
the roast. Suddenly there was no bitterness and everybody was laughing and
enjoying the free exchange of words including expletives and swear words. It
was a feeling of real liberation when you are not hurt by anything which
society considers to be unacceptable. Maybe this was because we had already
started this spiritual journey by criticising ourselves and owning and accepting
every single mistake committed in past by laughing at ourselves.
Slowly we realised that salvation
was coming to us in instalments. One instalment was delivered when we started
criticising and laughing at our great institutions where we studied very
proudly and but realised now that it was actually wastage of time. My IIT
trained engineer friend, who always claimed to be a designer of microchips,
very reluctantly accepted that he was not capable of even designing one bookshelf
out of his education where he could keep all his nonsense books. Another hurdle
we had to cross was to get rid of strong sense of value system and tradition we
supposedly represent to despite the fact that it have been left behind long
back and in many cases it has become outdated. Also it is a fact that in the
urban life we all have adopted and adapted to a new practical value system and
lifestyle. Laughing at something which represented our existence itself was not
an easy task but it became very easy to laugh at ourselves when it was realised
that we can’t afford to stick to the traditional value system however royal it
has been. We have to laugh at silly ways
we conduct ourselves in day to day life.
I have come across many officers
working in government offices, when they consider the issues of professionalism
and efficiency, candidly accepting that if they start worrying about it they
cannot live for another day and the secret is that everyone accepts the way the
system exists. Any kind of criticism is forgiven and forgotten by the end of
the day. Particularly at lower level each such criticism, whether healthy or
filthy, is treated as plain roast and people laugh at it in regular course.
There is nothing like course correction or the steps taken for improvement of
the system, any new idea is given a quick unceremonious burial as soon as
people see the back of the person who has introduced it. People have confided
that many innovative ideas introduced during their tenure were nowhere visible
even by the end of a single year after their exit.
One should innovate for his own
pleasure and in case of failure of such efforts, rather than getting
disappointed or angry, one should treat it as his roast moment when people
around are laughing at him, ridiculing him and it is his time to laugh at
himself while ridiculing himself. Rule of the game is simple that everyone
would be randomly roasted and nobody would be spared and when your turn comes
you would be in hot red seat to be roasted. You have to enjoy any ridicule,
criticism, insinuation including swear words or expletives. It requires heart
to train you to rise to occasion and enjoy the roast moments and beginning of
this journey starts with laughing at yourself. If you are successful in this
effort then there is happiness around for you and for everybody around you. Time
has come when the roast lessons should be made compulsory for the younger
generation which would reduce the common problems like depression and related
malaise in our society. If you are unhappy somehow then just chill just think
that it is your roast moment and you are feeling very happy about it, you are
enjoying it. Amen…
Views expressed are very personal to the author any reference of any name is for representational purposes only
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